Friday, November 25, 2011

What makes Thanksgiving special?

For too many of us, Thanksgiving is the only time of year we pause to think of all the things about our lives we appreciate. So often it is only during the holiday meal preparations and around the feasting table that we feel special connections to those who are part of our everyday lives.

I think that's because when we're related or we've been with someone a long time we tend to come to a sense of equilibrium in which they can seem just part of life's background. We routinize life around their and our own weaknesses and simply accommodate what we must while contributing less than we could as our share in the joint effort of living. And we wonder why every day is so mundane, why only the holidays make us feel special and more fully connected with those we (really do at heart) love the most.

What we too often forget is that good relationships take time and effort, both in terms of sharing what's really going on inside (others aren't mindreaders) and in terms of finding ways to stimulate growth in the relationship as well as in each other (that's the point of being with them).

Simple as baking (or even just eating) holiday pies together is, you don't just create (and/or consume) a delicious product, you grow togetherness. That's one ingredient always essential for the camaraderie of family gatherings for the holidays. We could benefit if we'd learn from our successes on special days to carry over those interactive achievements into our everyday lives.
 
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1 comment:

Bill Flower said...

This one is right on the money! The focus in the early stages of relationships is more on pleasing and high levels of communication. As time passes and other interests or children take center stage the initial purpose of a couple often takes a back seat and the growth stops. Every day should be a Holiday focused on the unity and fulfillment of all involved.