Tuesday, December 29, 2009

What makes love last?

Psychologist Robert Epstein, former editor of Psychology Today, advocates replacing the failed American romantic standard with better-controlled development of love. His method employs "strategies and behaviours that relationship experts have found increase feelings of intimacy: sharing vulnerabilities, touching each other affectionately and seeking adventures together." (See more at http://www.thestar.com/living/article/743445--can-falling-in-love-be-planned.)

Epstein has an inkling of the right idea, but he's only scratching the surface. ... READ MORE
I wonder... what you think.

2 comments:

drrobertepstein.com said...

My research findings are consistent with what you say. In the study I just completed that looked at 11 factors contributing to the growth of love in arranged marriage, for example, commitment was by far the most important factor. For some relevant links, visit http://MakingLoveBook.com

Robert Epstein

CopperJP said...

I would also say that after the bonds of intimacy and the proaction of commitment, one needs to continually work at a relationship in order to keep it at the forefront; it must literally be a priority. Relationships don't just happen (and won't just keep happening in perpetuity); one must choose to act in ways that strengthen and deepen the connection and hold it together. Both parties must work at the relationship, and I think that is why many arranged marriages do work; sharing and caring about the other person becomes respect and admiration -- and, often, love.